By Roberto Sedycias
Usually couples break up when there is some kind of tension or friction between
the two people. Sometimes there is a serious source of difference that makes
living together impossible, perhaps a conflict of values or interests or actions
and habits. When people come together, these differences are usually not
pronounced or simply irrelevant due to the newness and excitement. But with
time, these differences show themselves and they begin to take their toll.
Some issues can be worked out from the get go, however, if you are made aware of
them, and more importantly, if you let your partner know what they are. One
simple example would be cleanliness. Suppose your partner is a very messy person
and from the moment that you step into their apartment, you notice an offensive
wreckage, clothes strewn everywhere, a filthy kitchen, toenail clippings left on
the countertops, everything in wild disarray. In the beginning, you might not
say anything at all, or you might drop small hints, but that cleanliness issue
will not seem to you like a reason to break up ever. It will seem like something
that might work itself out with time and turn into something that is not an
issue.
However, as the years pass, it will become an issue, particularly if you are a
clean and organized person. The sloppiness of the other will grate on your
nerves and make you irate, and you will find yourself trying to reform that
person and change their behavior. Of course, people cannot easily change their
behavior and so you will begin to feel resentful and helpless and angry and it
will become disruptive.
Perhaps, if you had made it clear in the beginning, you might have been able to
work through it sooner or realize things that would perhaps prevent a messy
break up after years of time and energy investment. Basically, communicating
about dislikes and displeasures is an essential way of making change happen, and
doing it from the start is important, because if you wait a long time and hope
that things will change, usually they do not. And if you work on it from the
start, you will be able to see if it is a hopeless case much earlier and not
have to prolong the relationship if it just won't last.
Another way to prevent a break up is to take a break when things get bad. This
might sound like a break up, but actually, it is a way to clear your head and
mind and get some space when things get really bad. Sometimes, in a
relationship, a couple can reach a point when things just seem irreversibly bad,
and instead of breaking up, taking a break can help you two gain some
perspective and get some distance from all of the issues at hand. This can help
you see what is important and to balance that person with all of the issues to
see what holds greater importance. Also you will be able to see what life is
like without that person and to see if it is something that is worth the pain of
separation.
Roberto Sedycias works as an IT consultant for PoloMercantil
See Also:
Use Conflict
Resolution to Save Your Marriage
In today’s day and age, we are increasingly challenged with conflicts in our
daily life and especially in our marriage. In this article, we will explore a
few ways to save your marriage by introducing some useful insights into conflict
resolution.
Is
Communication Breakdown The Root Cause Of Marriage Breakup?
Communication is the most vital component in building relationships. Without it,
breakdowns are inevitable and will led to marriage breakups.
Is It
Possible For Me To Save This Marriage Alone?
Generally, no couple likes to break up. They both want each other to be happy by
resolving all problems between them. Now, the only question is – Is it possible
for you save this marriage alone?
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